Reaching The Summit Of The Internal Mountain

It has been a little while since I have posted. I have been meaning to...really I have. I guess I can honestly say that the delay is not due to being busy or not wanting to...it has been due to working on vunerability and transparency. It is something I am not good at and when I am asked to share about certain things I tend to run and hide. I guess I have to apologize. I have been hiding. I think this may be draft #9 that I have written since my last entry but I think this one may be the best so I will go with it.

But before that....how about some trail running news!?

The trails are absolutely beautiful here right now and if you remember from my last post I am now the proud owner of my Salomon Speed Cross shoes. I cannot say enough about these beasts. In the past this brand has tore my feet up but I think I have finally found my "Saving Grace".  That and the fact that Ms. Cheapo here found them on line for under $50.00. I am that good.

I love them...plain and simple.

Anyway, I have been testing them out on the trails for the past few days and while they feel a little heavier than my road running shoes (duh...look at the soles) they make me feel like I could climb right up a rock face without using hands. These babies grip everything. Mud really is no longer a problem. I have never felt so in control of my movements while on trail surfaces. I am a frog! Downhill is great! They even make tree roots and debris much easier to navigate. They are the best damn things since sliced bread! As you can tell I am very happy...and they make being on the trails that much more enjoyable. I enjoy them so much I cannot even complain about running grass hills...they make everything that fun!


I am also happy to report that I have decided to do some races on trail after all. For a while I was not feeling competitive and the thought of doing more races just made me sad. I can't pin point what happened but I have a renewed passion. I am now looking forward to this season and picking some great races to run in the near future. Colorado is a go once again and I am even going to run the 1/2 marathon associated with UROC this September. I am so lucky that UROC is actually starting in the same town as the house I will be at in Breckenridge. This run usually changes locations each year so I feel very fortunate to be able to see some amazing runners take off for the longer races! I will be out there a week before my race so at least my body will have a little time to acclimate to the heat and elevation....if not...I am sure it will still make for an interesting story.

Colorado training :)

Other than that...you may see my mood or tone in the blog change a bit in the near future. I love running and nature. I feel the need to be out in nature everyday and when I am not I am sad. I also feel the same way about running. It makes me happy and helps reduce a lot of the stresses in my life. However, if I want to get better at it and enjoy it more, I have to work on some parts of me that are causing stress.

I will not go into much but I am working on something that some may say has "plagued" me for 18 years. I have never had the need or desire to "correct it" until now. I have always been happy with the way I handled myself and my body has adapted amazingly well to the treatment I have given her. But now it is time. I am 32. I now influence people with the decisions I make and being good to myself while running is something I owe my body and mind. Nutrition has always been a struggle for me...and my body has found a way to perform when it probably should not have. Nutrition is also a huge part of running and if I want to be able to do things like Colorado I have to be able to be confident in her ability to keep going when I mentally may not want to. I have to learn to treat myself right and allow her what she needs to perform. The damage I have done may not reverse right away. My thyroid is shot. It will not come back to life...my body has shut it down and I will be forever on artificial hormone. My vitamin and iron levels are not even on paper after blood work. This is my fault. This is my body telling me to "shape up." That can be corrected and for that I am so fortunate. I always thought I was invincible. Don't get me wrong...I am really healthy as far as "general health" goes...so we are all good. I just need to be able to look at myself and how I treat myself and smile. I see beauty all around me and it makes me so happy....now I just have to see the beauty at the end of my nose :)

I know it will be a struggle. What many of you feel as "normal" when it comes to image make no sense to me. We are all different. No one person is perfect and no one way is the "right" way....we just have to do what is right for us. And yes...I find Nutella to be a terrifying thing...have you looked at the nutritional labels?! Sooo good....sooo bad....sooo not fair :)

So I hope you do not mind if I share every few posts or something. Many of you are not here to see me while this transformation takes place. Some have already seen me at an evening run or yoga...and I love you for the hugs and support. I don't want to confuse anyone. I am a very happy person and enjoying life to the fullest. I just need to get on track with getting my body to run like all of you :) Please don't Google and try to "classify" me as anything...especially if you do not know me. That would just break my heart.

I am borrowing a picture from a site I love on Facebook. This is so beautiful to me. A runner named Kilian Jornet Burgada posted it. It reminded me of a conversation I had the other day. As a friend said to me...and I quote (because I wrote it down so I would not forget):

"Before you go explore those amazing mountains...why don't you explore the internal mountain you have been living at the base of first?"

Powerful words. Both loving and a smack in the face all at the same time. That is what friends do. Friends keep you in check. I am now in check...well...I take that back....I am working on being in check. The weather keeps changing on my mountain and I am not sure what the view will look like from the summit....but it is time to see what is on the other side. Happiness in the valley perhaps?

A New York State of Trail

Well Hello There!

Yes, it is true...I am in New York again and I promise everything is fine!  I say this because some have noticed how much I have been traveling back here as of late and have expressed concern. I am healthy (although if I was sick this would be the place to come) and happy...I just have had the urge to visit more. I am at a point in my life where I can do that and I plan to continue with my travel for the next little bit. This week it is New York but in a few it will be Hilton Head, SC or Florida followed by some more New York and then some Colorado!! I am very happy with my decision to travel more and hope to continue sharing the experiences with you (as I plan to find some kick ass trails in each place to run!).

Oh that lake :)

Now, if you remember the last time I was up here I was excited about getting to Lake Minnewaska to explore some new trails. And as you may remember...I spent the whole week sitting on my ass enjoying my childhood home and all the beauty around it. Well...I am proud to say that this time I finally got up there. Today was sunny and 80 degrees so I figured it was now or never. My father was awesome enough to take the day off and come with me so I had someone to share all the amazing views with (and someone to serve as a backup camera man when my phone died!).

So like I mentioned in previous posts, I have been coming to Lake Minnewaska State Park for years but cannot remember ever really exploring the trails (like every other teenager who went there...I was too busy with other things!) Anyway, today I decided to explore a trail that went completely around the lake and I have to say I am so glad I picked it! The whole time I was making my way around I could see the beautiful lake below and all the mountains of the Catskills in the distance. It was almost challenging, as I did not want to pay attention to anything ahead of or around me...I just wanted to keep looking over my shoulder to the left. I also kept wanting to just stop...look around and take pictures. I will admit it probably was not all it could be due to my ADD while on the trails but I could not have been happier (and no...I don't really have ADD). This is just another reason why I will never be competitive in this sport...I just can't not stop and enjoy nature!

The views were breathtaking

I also got to experience how different the trails were compared to what I am used to down in Kentucky. Since NY State maintains this park the trails were well taken care of. Come to think of it, they were almost too well "maintained". Personally, I am not a fan of trails that almost feel artificial due to the introduction of gravel. I like a hard dirt trail full of tree roots and debris. Granted, I cannot move as fast at times, but I feel a little more connected to my surroundings. I tend to feel more "lost" in nature compared to just following a path that so many people make their way on each day. I find that when I am on trails that are created for the sole purpose of mass hiking my instincts don't kick in. My senses don't get as sharp and I don't notice the little things around me. While I loved the experience and the views of today....I cannot say I would want to make it a regular running spot. It almost felt a little too "touristy" for me which was kind of disappointing. However, in the end it was exactly how I remembered it. It is a gem amongst the mountains. The drive there was amazing as every direction provided mountain views and the lake itself is just breathtaking. To top it all off, it looks like the lake is starting to rebound from where it was a few years back. Lake Minnewaska has been classified as a "dead" lake due to acidity but it looks like nature (and man) is starting to repair the damage. Today I saw water snakes...lizards...frogs....small fish and even bass. It was such a great thing to see the ecosystem coming back. I can only hope that she can completely heal in the next few years! It was also a wonderful reminder that New York is not just the City or Central Park when it comes to places and things to do. We have mountains. They may not be like out west but they are amazing and beautiful and full of adventure if you just take the time to visit them. They are all around and really have an impact to those who take the time to notice. Too many times when I mention that I am from NY or going to visit people just assume that NYC is all that there is. So many are missing out. I wish more trail running would come to the Catskill/Pocono area. I think many would be surprised with what our mountains have to offer.

Disappointed in what they called "trails"

OMG....mountains in NY :)

I am also happy to report that today's little adventure totally has me re-energized about Breckenridge, CO in the summer/fall. The thought of a week at the house up there....running all those amazing trails (Sally Barber Mine area) and drinking all that amazing coffee (Cool River Coffee House baby! ) just has me giddy as a school girl!! I cannot wait and I am so grateful this feeling has returned. It was almost depressing as I was becoming indifferent to if I went or not. Now, I cannot wait to get out there and see what the trails are like compared to what I have been on so far. I cannot wait to experience the altitude difference while running....not to mention that this year UROC is starting there during my stay...so I may get to see some amazing runners toe the line (on my way to get coffee of course!)

Anyway, other than that not much is going on. Tomorrow I head back to Kentucky and plan to lace up my new Speed Cross 3's that came while I was gone and hit Raven Run (I found them on line for under $50.00...yes, I am that cheap.) Then it will be Red River Gorge this upcoming weekend to check out some trails that are a part of a new trail running challenge going on at our local run shop.

OH....OH....YEAH.....and I almost forgot (again). I have actually had a few people ask me what I have on my play list. I keep meaning to list it each time I blog and always remember AFTER I hit publish. So...here it is. I am sorry it took so long...and like I told you it is pretty bipolar.  I pretty much listen to everything from techno to classical...it is really a mess. I don't have many songs on as I constantly update and rotate things around...just enough to get thru about 13 miles before getting bored on the replay. I guess I play my music a little loud...because I can't figure out why anyone would really care about what I listen to :) Don't make fun of it....

Playlist:

Alive - Krewella

All I Ever Wanted - Basshunter

Can't Hold Us - Macklemore

Change - Churchill

Come Along - Vicci Martinez & Cee Lo Green

Coming Home - Diddy

Crystallize (my *$&% favorite right now!) - Lindsey Stirling

Cups - Pitch Perfect Soundtrack

Desert Rose - Sting

Feel This Moment - Pitbull

Go West - Pet Shop Boys (shut up!)

Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

Greyhound (another favorite) - Swedish House Mafia

It's A Sin - Pet Shop Boys

Zombie Nation (Sports Chant) Kernfkraft 400

Light It Up - Fall Out Boy

The Resistance - 2Cellos

Sail - AWOL Nation

Song of the Caged Bird - Lindsey Stirling

Whenever, Wherever - Shakira

Who Needs A Road - Signpost Sound

Everything by Mumford & Sons

So that is it. After this I am going to log onto IRunFar.com and let it update me on the Transvulcania Ultra over in La Palma. We have some awesome Americans taking on the usual suspects today and as much as I am a fan of some...I would really like to see the CO and OR boys kick some butt!!

The Purity Of Spring

Do you ever look around and really envy the season of Spring?

Think about it. Everything is *new* in the spring. Everything has new life...a new beginning with very little being carried over from the harsh cold winter. To me it is a wonderful season and I have been enjoying it just about every day now.

Each morning when I wake I find myself needing to be out in nature. Not necessarily running, but just being amongst all the tree cover...making my way down the beautiful winding trails....letting the sound of trickling water guide my every step. It is only a little over an hour each morning before I have to emerge and get on with my day, but at the end of each visit I truly feel renewed. At the same time it has me feeling a little confused.

Last year I was so excited for the trail running season to begin. This year I am really excited to be able to get out and run the trails like I want....but I am not so sure I am excited about the races. It is not that the races are not appealing...it is just that I am not sure I want to do them. I know I can do them...but I don't feel the competitive drive to do them. I don't want to be racing a clock or another runner thru them. Perhaps it is because the last race I ran ended in injury and I am somehow subconsciously convinced that injury will happen again as soon as I start racing. Perhaps it is because I feel too close a connection to the environment when I am out there to want to rush thru it. Maybe I hit my head?  I don't know...either way I find myself quite confused on whether I want to be competitive or just a spectator as I run. It has me feeling anxious and desperately trying to figure myself out.

Now this confusion totally sucks because it conflicts with my running dream of being able to do the WS100 (since you have to qualify)...so I hope it is a temporary problem. At the same time I am almost like "well....nothing says I can't run the course whenever I want to....still experiencing the trails and living a dream I have". Who knows....G*d knows I don't. I wish I could start over like spring. Just *pop* up and take to trail racing like last year never happened.

I guess until I figure it out I am just going to keep putting myself where I want to be. I am so lucky that I can move my schedule around at a moments notice like that. I can wake up and go "I want to be on the trails" and within a few minutes I can be on my way. I realize that so many do not have that ability and I promise that every second I am out there I am thanking the universe. It is something I savor with all my heart.

Speaking of the ability to get out on the trails and in nature....I do have one request of all of you...and it comes from an experience I had yesterday. When I arrived at the trail head I ran into a class of students getting a tour from one of the Raven Run staff. The young woman asked the class if they knew what biodiversity was. Now...these kids were old enough to know.....but not one could answer the question correctly. I literally stopped in my tracks and watched in horror as the young woman had to explain to these kids what it was and where they were. Please...if you have any love of nature  share it and pass it on when you can. To think that this is the future really has me concerned about what places like Raven Run will be like in 20 years. Deep down we all have a connection to nature. It is who we are. We are from it and a part of it. It provides for us...takes care of us...and still reminds us on a regular basis that in the end it will always be more powerful than us. We have to keep teaching. If we don't....well I just don't know what to say about that....

That is all for now. For the next little bit I will keep running where I love...and dreaming about all I want to do. So many recent events (mostly involving people passing away) have my heart wanting to do so many things all at once as soon as possible....which is just not rational....but I think it is the instinct that keeps us wanting to live life and experience amazing things. I hope you all are enjoying the weather as much as I am. It really has my "bucket list" of places I want to go....things I want to do....and people I would like to meet growing on a daily basis. (And yes...that sentence originally was "things...places...and people I want to do" but then when I re-read it I saw how inappropriately funny it was....but common...it is me....Queen of the Inappropriate One Liners."

Until next time :)

It's Good....It's All Good

My lovely trails were waiting..

"Better you than me"

"Is something chasing her?"

"How do you not turn an ankle?"

"Wow...I could never do that"

Those are just a few of the comments I heard from people on the trails today. It was a beautiful day and while my run was slowed due to foot traffic...it was wonderful to see so many people out and enjoying nature together. I loved the "is something chasing her?" comment. I thought that was just hysterical as I was making really good time on the downhill portion and the rocks were just like perfect little launching pads. I am sure it did look like someone was chasing me! What I did not love was witnessing first hand the doubt people have in themselves when it comes to trail running. I almost wanted to stop and say "YES...YOU CAN DO THIS....FOLLOW ME!". Hearing "I could never do that" left me disappointed because anyone can trail run if they want to! There is so much more to it then just the running. It is the feeling of freedom that comes from it. It is the beauty of nature flying by you as you make you way up and down the trails. It is the sensation in the feet and the legs. The primal knowledge that you are an animal and that years ago this is WHAT YOU DID. It is the amazement you will feel once you notice your instincts taking over as you make you way thru tough terrain....how your vision adapts to the trail in front of you and guides you over rocks and tree roots. It is the beauty all around you when you reach your stopping point or just have to rest. The human body was meant to navigate the world in this manner and to allow ones self to experience it is just magical!

Can you tell today was my first day back on the trails here in Kentucky? While I loved every minute of being home...I will admit that I missed my wonderful trails down at Raven Run. I was so excited to get down there and run....and to make things even better....some friends were coming along for the journey!  Upon my return I learned that a few of the guys from the West Sixth running group were coming to experience trail running first hand. They ended up really liking it I think (except for the one that ran 16 miles yesterday...he is a little sore) and they appreciated how challenging it can be. It was the first time anyone has come along and I was both nervous and excited to see how they took to it. One loved the downhill and not the uphill....one loved the uphill and not the downhill. It was so interesting to see how it was different to each person. What was even better was that everyone agreed that it was a beautiful thing to do on a Sunday afternoon. Ok ladies....you are next!

How did so much change in a week?!

Oh yeah! I am back in Kentucky after a week in my home state of New York! The Yankee has returned to the Bluegrass!!

Now, as you all know...I had such hope for my trip to New York. I had it all planned out....all the places I was going to go run and explore....all the adventures I was going to have. Well...here it is:  I got none of it done. 

My butt was pretty much planted here the whole week...

It is not that I didn't want to...I really did. It was just that I did not need to. I spent 11 hours driving thru the amazing mountains of Pennsylvania and New York to get home and once I got there I was able to see them everywhere I went. Whether I was sitting on the Southern style front porch at home or driving to Woodbury Commons to go shopping...I could always see the Catskills and Bear Mountain. Words cannot describe how relaxing it was. I literally did not have a care in the world. Nothing seemed to phase me while I was up there and I felt no need to get out and run. My body did not tell me to. It really did not want to and I listened. I spent my time enjoying and exploring the beautiful world right outside my front door and I do not regret it one bit...it was what I needed at that moment and the peace I feel from it will stay with me for quite a while.

Wait...no....that last paragraph is not 100% correct. Something did phase me during my stay in NY and you all know what it is. Everyone knows what it is....you have to unless you are living in a cave somewhere....so here it comes (as I really have not said much about it up to this point...)

I heard about Boston on my drive up. I was picking up little pieces here and there but really did not know the real impact until I sat down that night and watched the news. Like everyone...I could not believe it. I mean...I could believe it because look at the world we all live in....but I could not believe it at the same time  (if that makes sense.) As I sat there watching the news coverage I felt an anger similar to if someone was picking on your brother or sister. New York and Boston have a wonderful friendship....we love one another...but we are competitive as hell and we love to tease one another. It is all fun and games and very much like sibling rivalry. And like that rivalry...it is all good until one of your brothers or sisters gets hurt. At that point the gloves come off and all hell may break loose. To say I was angry would be an understatement. It was such a cold and cowardly act. It killed people....it killed a fucking 8 year old child. WTF?! As I watched the video of those bombs going off I could not completely comprehend how it happened. And the fact that it happened at a marathon made if even more eerie...it happened to people who love to participate in the sport I love. It was literally a "that could have been anyone of my friends or even me" moment. It had an impact to say the least. I was left wondering what this world was really coming to. I really didn't think anything positive could come out of it at all....not the slightest little thing. I was wrong...

Later on I went to get coffee and happened to be wearing a t-shirt from that project I told you all about back in December (Summits of My Life www.summitsofmylife.com). It is a simple t-shirt but it states in big white letters "We Are People." As I was standing in line a gentleman noticed it and questioned me on its meaning. It was what he said next that really caught my attention. There I am standing there staring at him...wondering why he is so talkative (funny coming from me right?) and finally he said something like "Shit says it all right there...We Are People....everybody should wear this fucking shirt."

All I could do was smile and agree. Here I was standing in a simple t-shirt from a project that I am pretty sure NO ONE in Goshen, NY knows about besides me. I normally never wear it out. Quite frankly...I sleep in it because it is super soft and the size medium I ordered is too big. I just happened to be wearing it because I was quite frankly too lazy to really get dressed and "hung over" from all the driving I had done. But at that moment none of that mattered. What mattered was that FINALLY someone said what needed to be said: "We Are People". This individual told me he had no clue what a mountaineer was...and that he did not ski or run.....but that the shirt made sense to him. It really drove home the power of simple words. It was not rocket science. The shirt did not say anything amazing...but at the same time it did. I have been wearing it a little more because now the shirt is not about the project to me. It is about where we need to be as a society. It is about the simple things that can make a big impact. Now I just need to find a way to shrink it down a size...
'
Speaking of "where we need to be (and nature)"....the whole shirt thing led to something else that has been on my mind. Shortly after the above mentioned incident I remembered that my father and brother had never seen the movie that the shirt was from. They had no idea how lucky there were that I could plug my MacBook into the big screen and let them experience first hand "A Fine Line". Now, don't get me wrong. They had no interest but it was quite enjoyable to watch it with them, only because we forgot to put the English subtitles on and they insisted on translating what was being said. At one point they decided it was filmed in Cleveland and the only food consumed was ice. About half way thru I had no hope in them seeing what I saw in the movie. There was no "oooohhhh and ahhhh" of the mountain scenes. No amazement over the small trail running section. No giddy smiling and wide eyed stares at all the beautiful fly overs. No one asked me to pause or rewind at the amazing mountain scenes. No one said "yeah...I see why you would want to go run and explore there". I really did not think they understood ANYTHING about the movie until the part came up where Stephane dies...

"Yo...is that the guy that dies?"

"No...that is Spaniard....he lives...it is the other guy"

"That is such a shame that someone died"


When I started to hear that conversation I had hope for them after all. I never should have underestimated them. Yeah...they were having fun with it. That is what we do in my family. I am teased all the time about my running and the passion and curiosity I have for it...but I could not ask for anymore support from them. They were having fun but at the same time they were "getting it". They saw what I saw in the movie...they saw me watching those mountain scenes (especially the trail running) and new my hearts desire to experience that. They knew my connection to the movie based on the love of nature. It had nothing to do with the subject himself (although don't get me wrong..he is friggin awesome) but the background of the whole movie. I could now relax. At that moment I knew that my passion and wild dreams were not totally ridiculous to them. It was comforting...because there are times when I feel that my dreams of actually experiencing places like that are ridiculous and that I should just push them aside.

Then the surprising thing happened. Someone out of nowhere said "that never should have happened". The room was quiet for a moment and then my dad responded with:

"You know....death is not unfair. Death is fair. You cannot hide from it or fight it. What is not fair is that too many of us cannot die where we love the most. I bet if you asked him where he would want to die it would be there...because that is what he loved doing. I'm sure he didn't want to die right then but if he had to it would be there. We should all be so lucky when our time comes."

Never underestimate my father. He is a wise man. He knows what he is talking about and his simple statement during the movie really made me think. He is right. Death is fair....what is not is that we often don't get to die where we want to. I don't think any of those people in Boston would have choose to die where they did. No car accident or homicide victim is going to say that is where they wanted to die. Many times the universe does not give us that option and my hope is for those who do happen to pass where they love most...that those left behind to go on can really take comfort in that. It was such a peaceful conversation to have with my father. My mother did not have that chance and I know that bothers him very much. It was a reminder of how lucky I am to have the parents I have...and the love for nature and the environment they have. My father said he hopes to "go" in the wetlands somewhere and I would have no problem with that if he did when the time comes. Nature provides everything we need and we are the only species on this planet who often do not die in its loving and guiding arms.

I thought about that today as I ran on the trails. I love trail running. I love the feeling and if I had the choice I would have no problem having my time come to a peaceful end on the trails. Nothing horrific or violent or anytime soon...just to be where I love most when it is all over.

I hope today the friends that came along to trail run could see that love. I hope they could see that love that I have for it. The enjoyment I get out of it....and the peace it brings to me. I think I am finally ready to have more people come with. I think I am ready for people to see where it is I would want to go if I had to go.

 Like a woman said to a group of us this morning "It's all good....it's all good."

How awesome would it be to "go" looking up at this?!

Nature...She Will Always Surprise You...

Spring time in Bluegrass is a magical time for so many. For some it starts with March and March Madness. For others it is April and the opening of Keeneland...followed by the Kentucky Derby. For me it signals trail season....one of the happiest times of the year! Not only is the cold gone but the trails are defrosted..in bloom and begging to be explored. It is the perfect time to get out in nature. It is a "not to hot...not to cold....go as fast as you can" time of year!

Turns out this weekend the weather was perfect...which meant only one thing: time to get out and check the trails at Raven Run!!

So with ankle brace...trail socks...trail shoes...trail clothing...a happy heart and a raging sinus infection... I took to the trails. I was not disappointed....they were in perfect condition. They almost looked like nature herself ran along with a broom and cleaned them off just for me. Spring is a little late so the trees were bare but it is only a matter of time before they are all full and bustling with life! I cannot express how happy my heart was to be there!

The weather today was wonderful. It was in the high 60's and the wind was so loud it sounded like the ocean. If you closed your eyes I swear you would not know the difference. It provided the most incredible breezes and they always came just when you were starting to get a little too warm. It was mainly overcast but that did not prevent this "ginger" from getting sunburned. Nothing too bad...just a gentle reminder that I spent a good amount of time with Mother Nature...which is a very good thing. Due to the fact that I am hacking like someone who smokes about 20 packs a day...I could not get much running in but that did not matter. Today was about making my way up and down the trails. It was a time to let my eyes and feet get acquainted with the changes that winter had brought. It was perfect even if I was going at a slower pace....

Those trails are crazy clear!

Trees are still bare :(

I did not see much wildlife but I did find a magical spot I have never seen before. While making my way to Overlook I noticed a rock "stairway" leading down to what looked like a giant pool off to the right of the trail. On my way back I took a few minutes and climbed down those rocks and over a few broken tree branches. I could not believe what I found! It was amazing! Beautiful rock ledges produced a waterfall to the most amazing pool I have ever seen there. The huge rocks leading out went all the way up along side the main trail. It took all I had not to jump in. The sound was breathtaking. It was such a "Secret Garden". It was not "tropical island" big but it really had an impact on me. I'm still trying to figure out how I have never noticed it before. That is the amazing thing about nature...she will always provide something special if you just take the time to visit with her.  I cannot wait to head back and visit again....especially after a few good rains when it will be full and flowing louder than today.

Hello Secret Garden!!

Other than that you are going to see me start traveling a little more over the next few months. I am very excited and hope to take you all along for some great adventures! The first stop is home. My heart has been calling on me to return for a while and I am finally going to go back to my roots and recharge :)

Now, as you all know...I am from New York. What you may not know is that New York is not all NYC. I am from a town called Goshen...which lies in between NYC and West Point Military Academy. It is a "Norman Rockwell" kind of town where till this day people know who I am when I come home. I still know everyone there and many of my high school classmates have returned to raise families of their own. Very little has changed since I left and to me it is perfect. Come to think of it...the NY Times thinks it is pretty close to perfect too...they wrote an article about it referring to it as a "utopia".  Google it. It is pretty neat.

I cannot wait to recharge on the big southern style front porch overlooking my front yard. You cannot see the road from the yard due to all the mature trees that block it. Directly across is a cow field. Behind the house are mowed paths leading to another cow field. In the mornings you wake up to the sound of a woodpecker sounding on the gutters outside the windows. In the afternoon may see a deer or two walking past...or the really chubby groundhog that lives in the stone wall climbing a peach tree to grab a snack. At night you can sit and stare at the bright stars and hear the owls hoot and crickets chirp. It is a place where nature is always around and even if you cannot see it you know it is there.

It is the home where as a child my mom would hurry us out the front door with our dog and tell us to play until lunch time. We would explore the trails and all the wildlife they were home to. Even as a child I thought I could save anything and would often greet my father with a young bird who fell out of a nest or some other small injured animal. We knew everything around us and what was good to play in and what was not. In the summer my mother would tie coffee cans around our neck with twine and have us go pick blackberries for hours. Most times she did not even get a can full as we had spent our whole afternoons eating everything we picked. The summer evenings were spent sitting on the large back porch grilling out or entertaining my father's firm with the annual pig roast. Nature was constantly around us growing up. We would literally see the full circle of life...from the young rabbits being born in the tool shed to the old possums who would die up in the path. It was a magical place and it is often hard to describe to those who have never been there...as it is only 80 miles outside of NYC. It is also a great place to run. I cannot wait to explore those trails and possibly a few farms (that is if the bulls are not in with the heifers...it is spring time you know!)

My front yard...with Jackson the family Golden Ret.

It is also close to a place very close to my heart...Lake Minnewaska. As a teenager I spent many weekends there and can still remember every trip. Back then it was a simple and romantic place to go...just far enough away from Goshen for a full day trip. It was a drive with the windows down and Sublime or Drop Kick Murphy's blaring on the radio. It was a place of first loves and everything that came with it.

Now it is a place of unbelievable beauty. The lake itself is actually a "dead lake"...meaning it is too acidic to support life. It is crystal clear  and surrounded by rock cliffs and trails. It is kind of ironic. A "dead" lake that makes someone like me feel so "alive". It cannot support life but its beauty supports me in a way that words cannot describe. I cannot wait to return and explore it again. To see it with new eyes and discover all those things I missed as a carefree teen is very exciting. I can remember the numerous trails surrounding the lake but never really had the opportunity to run them until now. There are so many it is going to be hard to choose which ones to visit.

Courtsey: MWanner : Lake Minnewaska

For now that is it...sorry if I got a little off track but being in nature often returns me to my childhood. I think it is a large part of why I love to trail run. I get to see things that remind me of being a kid and I get to live those memories with each step I take. It is something important to me and I love that you all let me pass it on to you. To me this is such an exciting time of year. I love winter and the snow but to get out in nature and just "be" part of all the life waking up after months of sweet slumber is just so humbling.

Woah! .... Is that horse dead?!

So this weekend was the annual running of the Run The Bluegrass.

Fog over the Bluegrass...magical!

All set!

To those readers who are not familiar, it is a half marathon here in central Kentucky that focuses on the beautiful horse farms we have right in our own back yard. It was an amazing race and I am so glad I did it. To my 3000+ "friends" who ran it..thank you for the experience. For a runner like me who does not like to run with others...let alone a few thousand...you all made it a wonderful race and I will without a doubt be with you next year.

As someone who prefers to run on trails and in the woods, I was not looking forward to a 13.1 mile road race but I can honestly say it did not disappoint. This year it was supposed to be a Rock N' Roll series run but in the end it was taken over locally and I really think that was for the best. I have lived around here for over a decade and attend the meets at Keeneland every year but never really "stopped and smelled the roses" when it came to the horse industry. The land and the farms are just breath taking and I wish you call could have been there with me to see it!

The morning of the race was beautiful. I was a little worried about my "level of dress" as I scrapped ice off the windshield in 30 degree weather but by start time I knew I would be OK. The thick fog had not entirely burned off by race time so we were delayed about 30 minutes but that did not put a damper on the excitement at the starting line. Each wave had pace setters and my wave had both the LexRunLadies and the Party Pacers (also LRL's). I had never been given a noise maker before a run but I now think they should be mandatory at every race. I think it is fair to say that all 3000+ were beyond excited to get running and it really showed the entire time.

Wave S start line (photo: Jamie France) I am in the red visor...very serious about my noise maker!

Just a few friends....

Now, I had studied the course a few days before the race and felt fairly prepared. The only thing I worried about were the hills and all the "stories" that came from them. Each time I spoke to someone about the course they reminded me of the "hills"...especially the "s-curve". Being someone who ran over natures rolling hills all the time, I was pretty confident I could take on a few man made ones. I really thought my legs and awesome calf muscles were ready!

Calf muscle :)

Yeah, that is what I thought. Now, I was not surprised...I was told the hills were brutal and numerous...and I was pretty sure I was ready for them. And there were hills...followed by hills...followed by more hills...and hills that ended with hills instead of downhills. At one point people just started flat out cursing the ground they ran on. I have never felt a burn in my legs like I did around mile 9 or so when the hill ended in a curve and another hill. It seems like there were hills as far as the eyes could see...but that was only if you were looking straight ahead. If you were like me and spent most of your time looking left or right you saw nothing but amazing horse farms or the houses that most likely owned those amazing horse farms.  I will admit...at one point I was certain that if I saw the RD I was going to deck them for thinking this course was a fun idea. The only thing that kept me going was thinking back and laughing at how a friend said she would rather "be stung by bees" then run the course. In times of exhaustion or doubt it really helps to have a little humor.  In the end I will admit it was the most beautiful road race I have ever been on...even though it was touch as shit!

Not only were the views amazing but the people were as well. I saw a number of people getting picked up by police or medics due to injury or exhaustion. Each time it happened all the runners called out words of encouragement or stopped to make sure that person was OK. I even saw one guy stop and massage his girlfriends injured knee repeatedly even though she was telling him to go on without her. It really made me appreciate what running in such a large group is like. It was a very nice thing to witness and something I will remember for a while.

Besides the amazing people, the horses also provided miles and miles of entertainment. At one point a horse was sticking his head over the fence for people to stop and take pictures with him. This horse had a true love for the camera and so far on Facebook I have seen at least 20 pictures of runners "selfing" it with him. Around mile 8-9 there were a few mares with their young. As the runners ran along the fence line the mares led their young on a run with them. To see and hear those amazing animals run was just so inspiring! The bond each mare had with their young was so strong and they seemed to be learning from and enjoying us as much as we were them. It was moments like this that provided much needed motivation. It made you realize that you were an animal...just like the horses...and running with them was nothing strange. It was natural. It was nature calling to each runner...almost telling them to pick it up...to run to their potential. Nature was telling us to ignore the doubts and pain we were feeling and just be free like the horses. Such amazing animals...they have it figured out :)

I will say there was only one point of major concern during the run...and it had nothing to do with me. At the later part of the race I met a new friend and we ran a few miles together talking about the race and how awesome we were for doing it. Conversation was going great until we came up on a horse a little before mile 11. We stopped and watched his rib cage for a while and it did not move. He was almost pressed against the fence and multiple people had the same fear we did...he was dead. I am not 100% sure if he was or not...as I have not met anyone who saw him get up after me. Either way it made me feel sad. It was such a beautiful animal. I really hope I am wrong...

In the end the race ended like it began...with loud cheering and smiling faces. I will not lie, I was in pain when I finished. My hips and knees hurt so bad. I was introduced to a few new people (who even read this blog!!!) and I was in so much pain I could hardly interact like I would have liked. So...to those peeps...I wish I had been feeling better. Perhaps if I had been allowed to sit down ;)  Either way...it was wonderful to meet you and I apologize if I look like I just ran thru hell...at the time my body felt like it!

It is true what they say...each time you take on a new race distance you should sign up for the second race before you run the first. Even though I am still sore one day later...and my feet still are covered with blisters...I loved the experience and am looking at a few in the next couple months to mix with trail running. After all, while in my local run shop I was told that I had just run one of the "toughest in the country...and if you can run that one you can pick any other one and it will be much easier." I am a proud lady. I am proud of my mind and my body. Each day I am more and more amazed at how much they can go thru!

Wish me luck...back "on the run" tomorrow with the West Sixth club. Life is just too short to stop :)

Much Love!
Andi

"Come Along...Now Come Along With Me..."

"Will you take me running with you sometime?"

This question is something I am really trying to embrace....and it is so hard because to explain why I run alone without sounding like a complete douche bag is almost impossible. Trust me...I have tried...and I have tried really hard to not hurt feelings or make it seem like I am blowing people off...and I am pretty sure I have failed a couple of times.

So as you can imagine it totally sucked to hear this:

"Well...now....that really does not fit into the whole "trail running" concept now does it?"

"@#$#&*@&?!!"

That was literally all I could think as I stood there looking at the gentlemen who was assisting me in my quest to find more trail shoes. It all started when he asked me what group I ran with. When I told him I ran alone he began to go into how that was not what the sport was about. I then told him that I often run with a partner or group, but choose to separate myself from them right away so that I can run alone. Apparently I missed the official "how to run the trails" memo which involves running in a pack. Don't worry...he spent a good 2 minutes explaining to me how I was doing it all wrong....so I think I am set. If I ever see him on the trails I may b*tch slap him.

However, in all honesty I can see where he was coming from. Look in any Trail Runner magazine and you will see all sorts of pictures of people running together on the trails. There are even a ton of races and relays that involve teams. I get this and I can see why he thinks it should be that way. That seems to be the way many are "doing" it...but I am far from "many".

I feel very different when I am out running than when I am out and about or at home. When I am out in nature I feel very connected with everything. I feel connected to nature...to myself..and to those who I have lost who were very close to me. I guess you could say it is kind of like a "religion" to me. I feel more at ease in nature then I do in a church. That does not mean that I do not believe in a higher existence. It just means that for me...at this moment...that higher "sense" wants me to connect with everything created in nature...not sit in a church. But that is just me...and to be alone doing that is a wonderful thing. (I will now wait for a few friends to come around...)

But in all seriousness....I really do feel "connected". I allow myself to get lost in my music and I often find myself holding conversations in my head with lost friends and family. It may sound crazy to some...but I do not see how they can be totally gone. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed..so wouldn't that mean that there has to be some logic behind what I feel? It may just be me...but it works for me...and it is a very private and personal time. It is an emotional time and I don't think much fun would be had if the person running with me sees me tear up every now and then....

Another reason why I am hesitant to have people run with me is because I am really not that special. In all honestly...I am very ADD when running. I am like that dog on the movie UP. I can be running one minute and the next be like "SQUIRREL!". That is the reason why I don't enjoy races (yeah...RBG!)...I like to be able to stop and look at things. I don't want to have to keep a pace or meet a certain time. I guess I just don't think anyone would enjoy it as much as I do so I just do it on my own.

You can call it selfish....and I guess it kind of is. I am hesitant to share my little spots. The last time I hit the trails I was sitting in a little "nook" off the beaten path just enjoying the sights and sounds. It is marked by some ghetto bird houses and really does require some stomping of branches to get to. It is my perfect little place. I often take breaks and just sit and relax. I try to focus on everything around me and notice every little movement. Once again...it is my little place! So you can imagine my surprise when another woman my age came tromping thru with her dog. We did not exchange words...but you could just see it in her eyes...it was like of like she was saying "not a secret anymore...now is it?". I remember being so angry. I felt like my little area had been violated! Stopping in this place is one of the highlights of my runs and someone has just marched right thru it! It really bothered me...

The reason it bothered me was because I was being "watched"...and I don't like that. Perhaps that is what I feel like happens when I run in groups. I feel like everyone is looking at me. I do not have the perfect stride...and I do not have the perfect pace...and people all the time try to tell me to do "this" or "that" when I just want to run how I run. We are animals. Running is an instinct. I want to run the way my body runs. When I am alone I don't have to worry about this. I don't have to wonder what people think when they are around me. It is bad enough I worry about what you all think while reading my blog. The fact that I love to write kind of makes me not care that much....but I can see people "watching" this blog all the time. Some comment on my FB...or Twitter...or the blog itself and I love that. You would probably think it is stupid how excited I get. Others watch...which there is nothing wrong with that....there are days when the data brings a huge smile to my face. Plus, I am a smart girl...I can see quite a bit ;) . I try to share as much as I can for a reason. I am very personable. I love to interact with people....my feelings get hurt when I am ignored or criticized....and I guess since I can't wave thru the computer and be like "I see you...HI!" I just have to keep writing and sharing.

I hope you all enjoy the blog. I write like I talk (which is a lot apparently) and if you have taken the time to actually keep up with this....well then I consider you a friend. No need to be shy. Who knows...maybe hearing from more of you will bring me out of my running shell. Maybe I have just not found the right time to "share" the experience. Maybe I need to be a little selfish until the time is right. Keep asking and I will keep telling you "you really would not enjoy it"....who knows...one day I may turn around...look you dead in the eyes and say "let's go!" Until then...please don't think I am being rude or mean.......I really don't mean to....and it really does bother me if I think I have hurt your feelings. I never mean to do that. I love people too much!

And to the person who knows who they are:

(Hi! For the love of all that is holy....I see the page visits.......I'm not going first this time....I tried that already.)