That is what I thought sitting on a log in the middle of a trail entrance this weekend.
Me...laying on the log..sorta.
Yes, I have a calendar, I am aware that it is January and everyone is cold....but I am really cold. My bones are cold.
If I was to touch you, after you warmed back up you would probably move away from me and ask me "never to do that again." So cold that last night sleeping in base layer and possibly a fur coat seemed like a really good idea....after I sat in the shower for about a 1/2 hour with the water turned as hot as it could go.
The reason for this? Simple...the blame falls on a little bastard called the thyroid.
Now, this is nothing new...and as you know...a ton of people have thyroid problems. But true to form, by body does not "half ass" it. My thyroid is not slow....it does not work. It does not release any chemical into my body. I really don't know why I am even keeping it. I have checked...no transplant available. I am entirely dependent on some tech at the Synthroid lab making a little pill to make me feel better. I have been struggling with this for over 10 years but when it comes to running it is even more frustrating.
About a month ago my dose was lowered a bit from the highest dose available. I blame too much coffee and running the morning of the blood work for this and since it has happened my condition has been described as a "steady decline". Add ridiculously low iron and I am just "jacked up". I am exhausted. Not mentally tired but my body feels like it has not slept in days. My hands and feet are so cold and I walk around constantly bitching (like I am doing now). The oven is starting to look like a tempting place to hang out when people are cooking.
Running is horrible. I feel like I have not run in about a year. My legs feel like cement blocks....they hardly want to move. My muscles seem to have no memory and feel like I am ripping them apart on each hill. My hands and feet just hurt. And the weather is not helping, as I cannot layer up enough to keep warm.
This cannot be happening on the same week as my first race. At times I really wonder what I did in a previous life....it must have been something horribly amazing!
I have called my doctor and will beg for the higher dose when she calls back. But I hope this happens soon. The first few days after switching doses are filled with heart flutters and what I would describe as "hyper mental activity". Running during this time (which I have done in the past) can be a little scary and to be in the middle of a trail race during this is not ideal. The good thing is that during this time period I have learned to not run alone :)
We will see how it all goes. I am struggling thru my training schedule, but I figure I cannot give up and rest all week...then wake up at 7 on Saturday morning and head up to Cinci for the best run ever. At times my body is my worst enemy....I listen to her when I can....but there are times when a girl just has to keep on going. The fact that it should only be around 11 degrees tomorrow during the brewery run is not something I am happy about. I will be there...as I love everything about it and everyone there...but I may not look too excited....unless I am on that higher dose....then I will seem like I am on crack or something :)
Sorry for the bitching blog...just be gratefully you are not sitting next to me on the couch....you would be victim of the "cold toes under the leg" attack I am known for. Apparently it is painful...at least the girly screams that come from everyone who has been victim of it seem to make me thing so.
This is a masterpiece I made to cross a creek...pathetic isn't it?